Blue Eyes
by rokubi-raijuu
Summary: A smattering of snapshots on the relationship between Thor and Loki depicting different moments in their time together and apart. Thor x Loki. Drabble series.


**Hey there it's Rai here. C:  
Yes I have gotten into the Avengers verse, 'cept honestly I've never read the comics and am going strictly off the movies. |D I know, I know, judge me all you want.  
So Thoki is brilliant and totally my Avengers OTP. (I'm not going to call it Thorki because that honestly just sounds hilarious.) So of course I did song drabbles to it. C:**

**These were all done with my iPod on shuffle. No skipping songs, and I had the duration of the song (in some cases, two runs of the song cause I couldn't get my idea down) to write these. Sorry if they're terrible cause I was timed. xD**

**Hope you enjoy ~ R&R, as always. C:**

* * *

"**I'm With You" – Avril Lavigne**

Beaten down. Ruined. Shamed.

It was nothing like he had imagined it would be; he had never predicted, in his arrogance, that a life of exile to Midgard would be his fate. Death would have been better than this, and yet he didn't even have it in him to condemn Odin as cruel anymore.

No one liked to be alone, but for the longest time Loki couldn't remember having anyone beside him. He had been born alone, lived alone, and even amongst the company of allies and, most notably, his brother, in Asgard, he had never been anything but alone.

A weary hand came to rest on a gnarled tree by the side of the road, and Loki lifted his once-proud head to stare at the seemingly endless bridge spanning the night river before him. A rumble of thunder growled overhead, and he waited for the inevitable downpour.

_My brother. _

Another rumble of thunder, and a brief flash of lightning lit the darkness of the city. _I am sorry. _

* * *

"**Like a Child" – Backstreet Boys**

A long time ago, things had been different. He could distinctly recall the hours spent at the bars, mostly at his own request, where he would drink until he was barely coherent, throw a large arm around his brother's pale form, and shrug him close until his breath washed, tepid and, as Loki often put it, "revolting", over the younger's face. Thor's smile was drunken then, but always genuine.

But the way Loki would always look at him as he said those words never fit the force of the words themselves. There was a gentleness in those blue eyes that had vanished sometime over the last years, and for the life of him, Thor could never deduce why.

It destroyed him inside, to know that he had done something which had driven his beloved brother to such madness. If only Loki would tell him, if only he would return to the home where he belonged, then things could change again. Things could be different again.

* * *

"**Blasphemy" – Cinema Bizarre**

It was wrong.

It was all wrong.

Things should not be like this.

Loki stood with his back pressed to the wall of the Bifrost chamber long after the other had gone, promising him he would return. Promising him that he would be victorious in this campaign and come back an even stronger warrior to make his younger brother proud.

The sorcerer's hands were trembling as he remained there, his heart still hammering against the constrains of his ribcage even though it must have been at least five minutes since Thor had gone.

Silence descended upon the room after the traveling sphere stopped turning and the metallic grinds screeched to a halt. Why had he come here to send his brother off, knowing full well that this would happen?

But as he lifted a steadying hand to his lips, still able to feel the taste of Thor's kiss (confident and a little aggressive, as the man himself was), he knew the reason.

* * *

"**30 Minutes" - tAtU**

He could say no. He could still say no to this impulse inside him, the demon he knew was rising up, pushing everything down out of sight to rear its ugly head and tell him he _needed to be the best. _

_Thor loves you_, a tiny voice in his head told him. It was a voice that had been getting smaller and smaller over the years. He hardly heard from it anymore, and was a little surprised it was here now. _You can turn back now. You don't have to do this. _

"Does he? No, he's forgotten about me in all his glory. He has everything he wants."

_He won't have you, not if you do this. _

"He doesn't need me. I am tired of being inferior; I am tired of being unknown."

_You don't want the throne, Loki._

"No. You're right. I just want the power to prove I am good enough for him."

And so he pushed the sword and sent himself to Jotunheim.

* * *

"**I Like It Rough" – Lady Gaga**

"Loki! Open the door!" The consistent banging had been going off and on for the last hour, at least. Loki knew that if he really wanted to, Thor could just throw down the door with his hammer and force his way into the room, but at the same time his brother was not the kind of person to do that. It was only with that security of knowledge that Loki had not magicked the door against immense physical force.

Wincing as he turned to his other side, the God of Mischief scowled at the voice on the other side of the wall. "You are staying out. It is only what you deserve."

There was no mistaking the tiniest bit of amusement in his older brother's voice when he spoke again, though he was clearly trying to hide it, perhaps for Loki's sake. "I said I'm sorry, brother. I'll be gentler next time."

The younger practically hissed with a mixture of anger and embarrassment as a wash of red came over his face at the very mention of what exactly had put him in this current sorry state.

Narrowing his eyes at the door, he stubbornly growled "no" and left it at that.

* * *

"**Here Without You" – 3 Doors Down**

It had all happened the way it was supposed to. Asgard had been returned to peace, the Frost Giants were no longer too large of a threat following the last war, and the Nine Realms prospered.

Thor sat atop the throne which he now claimed as his own as King of Asgard when his father had at last passed on. It seemed like so long ago now when his coronation had taken place, and day to day he was busy. If there weren't speeches to give (he had never been good at those) or people with issues to see, he was training with the army or negotiating with the other realms.

It was rare that he was allowed time like this, on his own, and he almost felt as if there should be something he could be doing.

What the Thunder God would never let himself realize was that he rejoiced in the business of life as King. He relished in the lack of free time, merely because it allowed him to more easily forget.

There was a presence missing, a presence that had always been at his side and made him feel strangely hollow without it now.

Sometimes he still turned, mid-stride, and began to ask his brother a question of advice, before he recalled that the space beside him was empty and he was Odin's only son.

* * *

"**Turn Me On" – Kevin Lyttle**

Thor was drunk again.

Letting a small sigh escape his lips, Loki lifted a hand to rub two fingers between his eyes, knitting his brow in exasperation. This was why he typically made himself scarce as these Asgardian banquets. His brother was a rowdy drunk, and the responsibility of taking him back to his room after a night of brawling often fell to the unfortunate younger sibling.

His plan was to remain relatively out of sight until the evening wound down, thus he was surprised when, for one moment, he directed his gaze elsewhere, and the next moment his lion of a brother was standing before him with a playful and inebriated grin, eyes bright with mirth.

"Brother, why don't you come join me at the table?"

Loki frowned and sidled away slowly. "I'd really rather –"

"Why hide yourself here like a snake in the shadows? Don't be ashamed of yourself!" Strong hands smoothed down his sides, a little too close for comfort. Flinching a bit, Loki tried to keep composure, but Thor's face was inches from his own and the memory of the previous night was still strong.

"Not here, brother – stop – Thor," Loki hissed softly, but Thor had always been the stronger one and honestly, he was powerless to resist.

* * *

"**I'll Never Stop" – N'sync**

He pulled himself up again, coughing out dust from his lungs and trying not to dislodge anymore loose stone from the half-crumbled roof of the building. Turning, the God of Thunder watched the small, dark figure fly off into the distance, triumphant at slipping away from him again, the weasel.

With his non-hammer hand, he rolled up the sleeve that had fallen back down, and glanced at Natasha as she approached, also watching Loki go.

"Lost him again," she sighed.

"I'll catch him," Thor promised.

The woman looked up at him. "He's escaped from you how many times?"

But the Thunder God shook his head and tightened his grip around Mjolnir's handle. "It doesn't matter. I'll catch him and bring him back where he belongs."

"With your people?"

"With me."

* * *

"**We're in Heaven" – DJ Sammy**

"So how do I look?" Thor posed in front of the mirror, chin up, chest out, suited up in full armor in preparation for the battle they were about to embark on. Despite the potential gravity of the situation, he was always ready for the rush, and he knew things would be all right with his brother at his side.

"Like the head rooster of the flock. The feathers are very stylish," came the teasing reply, which Thor responded to with a light-hearted punch on the arm and a grin.

"And look who's talking, cow horns," he shot back, grabbing one of the curved horns atop Loki's helmet and giving it a gentle shake.

"I happen to be fond of my horns," the younger replied with a smile. "They make me look more fearsome than a chicken, at least." Laughing, he dodged out of the way of Thor's next swing, but it was that coy grin that Loki wore which made Thor wrap an arm around the slimmer man's shoulders and pull him in.

"You will be at my side during the fight?" he asked, gazing fondly at his brother.

Loki returned the look with an affectionate one of his own. "I won't leave it, brother."

* * *

"**Our Farewell" – Within Temptations**

They were done; they were both tired, and there were no more blows to be exchanged. Neither would come out the victor today. Standing four paces apart, both brothers were covered in scratches; their armor dented and chipped in some places.

Loki refused to lean too much on his staff for support, but he was clearly in no shape to keep fighting. Mjolnir hung limply at Thor's side, and he panted for breath, pain shining in cerulean eyes.

"My brother…" he began, but not before Loki cut him off.

"Don't call me that," the other spat, gasping. "I am not… your brother. We do not even share blood."

"Come back with me."

"Don't try to tempt me again-"

"Come back home."

"Asgard is not my home!" Loki snarled, face twisted in an expression of despair, a haunted look in his eyes which had begun to cloud with tears that he refused to let fall. "It is _your_ home, where people worship you! Odin was _your_ father."

"And you would let the simple fact that we don't share blood come between us!" Thor demanded. He recognized that look in Loki's eyes – that fear. The fear that he had come much too far now to turn back. The fear that said his brother had burned too many bridges behind him to even believe he had any other road but forward. It hurt him for Loki to think he had no home to come back to. "All those years… you forgot so easily?"

The God of Mischief took one step back, looking at the charred landscape around him, the ground and trees torn apart by their attacks. "No… No, I have not forgotten."

"Then why - ?"

"Don't you see?" Loki hissed. "It is because I remember so well that I can't turn back."


End file.
